Music Directors: Himesh Reshammiya, Anand Raj Anand, Sajid-Wajid

Director: Anees Bazmee

Cast: Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Anil Kapoor, Nana Patekar, Firoz Khan, Mallika Sherawat

The music of a film can certainly be either its USP or something that can drown it to the bottom of the over-crowded ocean of Indian films. The music of `welcome` belongs to the latter category. No sailing back!

The title song `Welcome` composed by Sajid-Wajid (`Partner` fame) marks the opening of the album. It`s pretty catchy a number but sounds a lot like the title track of `Partner`. No wonder the duo knows what sells, but please spare us the repetition. Shaan and Soumya sound pleasant as ever. However, the chorus is rather scary and the one who leads the chorus with the reiteration of the word "welcome" sounds like he`s either sloshed or constipated! The song is meant to be played at discos and night clubs with good music and fun lyrics.

Kindly excuse the hideous rhymes at places though. To illustrate, "Hey hi ho, say hello, welcome to d party; go man go, don`t u wanna know, what`s going on at d party!"

I`ve never been more bewildered and amused simultaneously.

The title track is followed by `Honth Rasiley`, composed by Anand Raj Anand, who had done a good job with `Shootout at Lokhandwala`. The song is very typical of Anand`s music. Nevertheless, it sounds good (especially the beginning with a rapper who`s lost in the rest of the song, reasons unknown) and is a typical desi-bar dance number! Fun song! Shreya Ghoshal is true to her own style and sounds soothing as ever! Shankar Mahadevan sounds all gung-ho, definitely a job well done! All in all, a fun number. Next is `Kiya Kiya`, composed and sung by Anand Raj Anand. The song has a very random feel to it except for the `Kiya Kiya` part which is very catchy. It`s a nice composition. Anand sounds wonderful and Shweta is at her sensuous best. The lyrics are disastrously love-struck though... "Chehre pe tere hai roshan savera, zulfon mein teri hai dilkash andhera" God! 24-hour clocks samjha hai kya humein?!`Kiya kiya` is followed by `Insha Allah`, composed and sung by Himesh Reshammiya. To our relief, it does not start with the typical howl `ooooooo` although it`s a Himesh number. In fact, it has a good beginning. But it`s more like the silence before a storm since despite the superb beginning, the song does eventually manage to become a headache. Horrible lyrics. Even Shaan`s voice cannot make the song tolerable. Himesh Reshammiya sounds like a feline screeching mercilessly when he yells the `Insha Allah`! To summarize, it`s 5:37 minutes of unadulterated torture. Next in the line is `Kola laka vellari`, composed and sung by Himesh himself. The song couldn`t be more typical of Himesh`s style! The tabla, the drums, the music, outrageously sad lyrics, the straight-from-the-nose singing...the list goes on. Damn! Where the hell are my headache suppressants?The last track is `Uncha Lamba Kad`, composed by Anand Raj Anand. It`s better than all the other songs in the album and is definitely a good number. The rapper, the chorus add to its appeal. Lyrics are fun and although insensible to an extent, they do manage to maintain that grin on your face; like "Hoga tera good luck, dil mere liye rakh" The feel of the song is very Punjabi and so is the rendition. After giving three super-hits this year viz. Bhool Bhulaiyya, Heyy Baby and Namastey London, Akshay Kumar is all set for his next venture. Although I`m really eager to watch the star create some more madness via `Welcome`, the music`s put in a definite dampener.